How to Improve Body Language and Confidence When Speaking
- Kunle Orankan
- Jul 17
- 9 min read
A few years ago, I was running a presentation training in Hamburg with a room full of professionals. We had been working on how confidence shows up when you speak. Not just the words, but how it shows up in your body language.
At the end of one section, I asked the usual question: “Does anyone have anything to add or ask before we move on?”
A man at the back raised his hand and said, quite seriously: “Kunle… can I have some of your self-confidence?”
The room erupted in laughter.
It was funny, but it was also revealing. Because underneath the joke was a very common belief: that confidence is something you can borrow. That if you just watch someone who has it, copy their posture, their gestures, their style, you can pick some of it up for yourself.
The problem is, it doesn’t work that way. You cannot produce the signal by practicing the signal.
That’s what we’re going to explore in this article.
What Body Language Actually Is
Before we go further, I want to ask you something. When you hear the words “body language,” what comes to mind for you?
Most people, when I ask this in training, say things like posture, gestures, eye contact, or facial expressions. They think of the visible things we do with our bodies when we speak.
And that’s not wrong. But it’s only part of the picture.
Body language is actually the way your body expresses what’s happening inside you. Your thoughts, emotions, and internal state, without using words. It is a natural part of human communication. When we’re relaxed and not self-conscious, our body naturally moves, gestures, and expresses what we’re thinking or feeling.
I once saw a man at an airport making a phone call. Not a video call, just a regular phone call. He was holding the phone to his ear and describing something with great energy. He was moving his hands up and down, leaning forward, pointing, and even stepping from side to side as he spoke.
The person on the other end couldn’t see any of it, yet his body was fully involved in explaining whatever he was trying to describe.
We didn’t invent body language for presentations. It is something we do automatically when we’re engaged and expressing ourselves freely.
But here’s what often happens when people step into a presentation.
They stop trusting this natural process. Instead of letting their body express what’s going on inside them, they try to manage and control the signals from the outside. They focus only on how they look and move, while ignoring or even suppressing what they’re actually feeling or thinking in that moment.
This is why many people end up with body language that feels disconnected or forced when they present.
How to Improve Body Language and Confidence When Speaking: What This Article Shows You
Body language is not something you perform. It’s the visible result of what’s happening inside you.
Most people only work on the visible signals (the tip of the iceberg). Real improvement comes from strengthening what’s underneath (the substance).
You cannot sustainably produce confident body language by just practising posture and gestures.
Small physical adjustments (like breath and posture) work better when they help regulate your nervous system rather than when used as performance tricks.
Lasting change happens when you train your internal state, not just when you repeat confident-looking behaviours.
The Visible Tip vs The Substance Beneath
Most advice on body language and confidence focuses on the visible part. Stand taller, use better gestures, make more eye contact, keep your hands visible. These are all signals. They are what people see on the outside.
But those visible signals are just the tip of the iceberg.
If you only ever work on the tip, the part above the water, you’re ignoring the much larger part underneath. And just like with the Titanic, what you can’t immediately see is often what determines whether everything stays afloat or eventually sinks.
In the same way, your body language has two components: the signal and the substance.
The signal is what people see and perceive. The substance is what lives below the surface. Your nervous system state, how clearly you know the role you’re playing, and the evidence you’ve built over time that you can handle pressure.
When the substance is solid, the signals tend to emerge naturally and consistently. When the substance is weak, even well-practised signals often feel off or collapse under real pressure.
This is why simply copying confident body language rarely creates lasting confidence. You’re working on the output instead of the source.
Signal Before Speech
There was a study done on TED Talks that makes this very clear.
Researchers took short clips of speakers and showed them to two groups. One group watched the clips with full sound. The other group watched the same clips completely on mute: no words, no voice, nothing.
What they found was this: People who watched with no sound at all rated the speakers almost identically to the people who heard every single word.
Even without hearing anything, viewers could accurately judge how charismatic, credible, and intelligent the speaker was, based purely on what the body was communicating.
This tells us something important.
Your body sends signals long before your words arrive. And in many cases, those signals carry more weight than the words themselves. The audience’s nervous system is reading your physical state and forming an impression before your content has even had time to land.
This is what we mean by Signal Before Speech.
The Communication Triangle and the Vehicle
There’s something I call the Communication Triangle.
In my book, Before You Speak, I explain that how we communicate, especially under pressure, is shaped by three interconnected parts that constantly influence each other.
Physiology is what’s happening in your nervous system and body. Your breath, heart rate, and muscle tension.
Psychology is how you interpret the situation and who you believe you are in that moment.
Physicality is how your body shows up on the outside. Your posture, gestures, facial expression, and presence.
These three don’t work in isolation. They constantly interact with and influence one another.
When your internal state is uncertain or tense, it almost always shows up in your Physicality, even if you try to hide it. On the other hand, when you deliberately work with your body, it can positively influence how regulated you feel inside and how clearly you think.
This is why simply practising “confident body language” from the outside often falls short. You’re working on the visible signal without strengthening what’s underneath it.
Let me give you an analogy that might make this clearer.
A presentation is the successful transfer of ideas from Point A to Point B. You are Point A. Your audience is Point B. Your ideas are the cargo. The presentation itself is the vehicle.
You are the driver of that vehicle.
If the driver is tense, uncertain, or dysregulated, the vehicle wobbles. Regardless of how good the cargo is. The audience feels it. And the message doesn’t travel as cleanly as it could.
When the driver has real substance underneath, the vehicle moves with more control. The cargo travels more safely and better. And the audience feels the difference.
Practical Ways to Build Substance
So how do you actually work with this when you’re presenting?
Instead of trying to perform confident body language from the outside, it helps to focus on what’s happening underneath. Here are five adjustments that strengthen the substance rather than just managing the signals.
Start with your feet and your breath. Before you begin speaking, take a moment to feel your feet on the floor. Then take one breath, slower than usual, and with the exhale longer than the inhale. That’s it. It’s not a technique you have to remember. It’s simply a signal to your nervous system that it is safe to be here. When the system feels safer, what your body communicates tends to steady itself without you having to control it.
Next, pay attention to your hands. When people feel uncertain in a room, their hands often disappear. They go into pockets, behind their backs, or get tightly clasped in front of them. That’s the body protecting itself, and the room usually picks up on that protection.
Keep your hands visible and allow them to move when something in you wants to express itself. Because visible, intentional movement lets your body express your thinking instead of holding it back.
Posture is something most people only notice in others, but rarely in themselves, especially while they’re speaking. Under pressure, many people unconsciously shrink. Their shoulders round forward, their chest closes, and their head drops slightly.
You don’t need to stand perfectly straight the entire time. But when you notice yourself collapsing (and you will notice once you start paying attention), gently lengthen upward and open your chest just enough to let a fuller breath in. That small physical reset often brings more clarity than trying to think your way back to steadiness.
Your voice is also a powerful part of your nonverbal communication. When pressure rises, pace almost always increases. When you feel yourself speeding up or your voice becoming thinner, deliberately slow down by about ten percent.
This gives your nervous system a little more room to stay with you. A steadier voice is usually the result of a steadier internal state.
And finally, eye contact. Actual eye contact. Not managed or performed eye contact. When you allow yourself to genuinely be with the people in the room instead of performing toward them, something in the body tends to reorganise on its own. It opens. It steadies. Although the difference is small, the room always feels it.
These adjustments are about giving your system better internal conditions so that clearer and more natural signals can come through on their own.
How to Actually Develop This
The biggest mistake people make is trying to improve their body language by repeating confident-looking behaviours. That approach often fails under real pressure because it only works on the tip of the iceberg.
Instead, treat body language as something that improves when you deliberately strengthen the substance underneath while speaking.
Record yourself regularly. This helps you notice what your body does when pressure increases. Where do you shrink? Where do you speed up? Where does your system go into protection?
Instead of trying to fix everything at once, just pick one thing to work on. Focus on that one thing until it starts to feel more natural. Then bring it into your real presentations.
This is slower than copying gestures. But it is far more reliable. Because you are training the conditions that produce the signal, rather than the signal itself.
Key Takeaways
Body language is not something you perform. It is the visible expression of what’s happening underneath.
The visible signals (the tip of the iceberg) are only as strong as the substance below the surface.
You cannot sustainably produce confident body language by practising the signals alone.
Small, deliberate adjustments in grounding, hands, posture, voice, and eye contact help strengthen the internal conditions from which natural signals emerge.
Real improvement comes from working on what’s happening inside you, not just practicing how to look confident.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does my body language look nervous even when I feel calm?
Your nervous system often reacts faster than your conscious mind. Small shifts in posture, breath, or hand position can appear on the outside before you’re even aware of feeling nervous. This is why your body language can sometimes “leak” tension even when you feel relatively okay on the inside.
How can I improve my body language fast before a presentation?
The fastest way is to work with your nervous system rather than trying to force confident posture. Before you speak, take one slower breath with a longer exhale and feel your feet on the floor. This simple action helps calm your system, which then improves how your body naturally shows up.
What’s the difference between performing confidence and actually feeling it?
Performing confidence means trying to copy confident body language from the outside (standing taller, using big gestures, forcing eye contact). Actually feeling it comes from what’s happening underneath — your nervous system, your internal state, and how clear you are on your role. Performing often collapses under pressure. Building from the inside tends to last longer.
How do I stop shrinking or closing my body when I’m nervous?
Most people unconsciously shrink when they feel pressure — shoulders round forward, chest closes, and head drops slightly. The key is not to force perfect posture the whole time, but to notice when you’re collapsing and gently reset. Lengthen your spine and open your chest just enough to breathe more freely. This small physical shift often quickly brings clarity and steadiness back.
Can body language really affect how people perceive my ideas?
Yes. Research shows that when your body language and your words don’t match, people tend to trust what your body is communicating more than what you’re saying. Your physical presence can either support your ideas or quietly undermine them, even if your content is strong.
How long does it take to improve body language habits?
Most people start noticing meaningful changes within a few weeks when they focus on one or two adjustments at a time with deliberate practice, rather than trying to change everything at once. Real, lasting improvement comes from working on what’s underneath (your internal state), not just repeating confident-looking behaviours.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If you present regularly and want to build real stability under pressure, not just surface-level techniques, the work we do at Presentation School focuses on exactly this: strengthening the substance underneath so that clear, confident body language emerges naturally.
You can explore our Confident Communicator Crash Course or the full Presentation License™ programme if you want structured support in developing this.
The man in Hamburg didn’t need some of my confidence. He needed to understand what was producing it. The same is true for you.
Confidence that holds under pressure is not something you borrow or perform on the surface. It emerges when the underlying substance is reasonably strong. That work happens mostly below the surface. But over time, the visible signals become steadier, more credible, and more your own.
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